Working on it.

Slowly working on my comic. My goal this time is to make a story that's easy to understand for once. I'm sure I'll get better with time, but a huge problem with my storytelling is that I live in my head too much. I don't realize that some things that are clear to me, are not clear to the reader, and it makes my stories hard to parse. Not to mention, a good deal of them are kind of complicated to begin with, so this becomes even more of a problem.

For my next story I'm trying to do something more simple, to try to break myself from these bad habits. I'm putting the summary here--any thoughts/things that are unclear? Be honest, I don't mind.

( Story )

Pretty basic story. What do you think? Anything you think should be changed/cut out/etc?